Tuesday, January 04, 2011


Hello 2011, Goodbye 2010. I am definitely ready to say goodbye to that year. It wasn't great for me. Nor was it horrible. I'm just ready to move on.

Only one New Year's Resolution for me this year. I figure it's better to make one resolution and actually do it, than to make 5 or 10 and do none. So this year's resolution is no more Farmville on Facebook. I'm done. It was too distracting. It bordered on obsession, and I kind of pride myself in not being obsessive. So that's done. I don't even have to think about resolutions anymore because I reached my goal 4 days ago when I deleted all FV activity from my FB account. On to the next thing.

The really good part of this past year was, as always, friends and family. The brightest spot was a trip to Laguna Beach, CA for my beautiful niece's wedding. My brother and I searched online for months for a beach house we could rent that would fit the whole family, have plenty of bathrooms and be big enough for entertaining. We found a great house and everyone merged there. For a whole week, we had friends and new family over for dinner or breakfast, or afternoon beers. We spent days on the beach and wandering around one of my favorite towns which has barely changed in 35 years.

The wedding, of course, was beautiful. And fun. Vanessa figured out how to combine elegance and beauty with laughter and a great party! And her man Pat is a real find. I am so happy for her. The family she married into is so nice, (as Jeff has said of others in the past, "far too nice for the likes of us.") I know she will find love and acceptance there.

A bonus to being in Laguna Beach is that my dear friend Tim Link lives there and I got to spend time with him and Barbie almost every day. One night we had a combined birthday celebration for my dad (80), my mom (78) and my nephew Ryan (23). The new In-laws were invited and some of the bridal party was in town so they came and of course Tim and Barbie. We made Szekely Goulash for dinner (major Hungarian comfort food) and every one got to know each other a bit. It turns out that one of Tim and Barbie's good friend's is also a good friend of Joe and Suzanne Carey. Small world.

That trip was also nice because I got to spend a lot of time with my brothers. I flew into San Jose where there was a 3-way meet-up (and a drop off) with Jay, Jeff and myself. It was amazingly smooth. Those kind of things have the potential to go sideways but Jeff was in Petaluma and he rented a car down to San Jose. Jay was out on a weekend camping trip and had to drop his friend Molly O'Neal of at the airport to meet her husband Tom in Colorado. Her flight was about 45 minutes after I got in so it was perfect. Jeff found Jay, then he found me while Jay was rearranging the camping gear in order to accommodate our suitcases and then we were on our way. Spent Sunday in Carmel Valley unpacking and repacking the car and got up early Monday morning for a road trip down to Laguna. Can I just say, road trip with the brothers are the best!

So, that was the highlight of the year. The rest was day to day stuff with good bits like Thanksgiving and finding out that 2 good friends are having babies, visits to and from my good friends in Portland...

I accomplished a few things - I made 2 quilts with my friend Kellie for the Canaday House - transitional housing for the homeless. I finished 4 scarves that I had been working on (and off) for almost 2.5 years, and finally sent them to Anchorage for Jeff, Lana, Sophie and Coco. I started an Etsy shop and have sold a few things.

I guess my prevailing and underlying mood this past year though has been one of sadness... I miss my friend Rochelle, more than I ever thought possible. We always knew she would be the first to go, but I didn't think it would be soon. She tried to prepare me for these things - she had lost her mom so early, she was realistic about life and death. I remember once saying - I don't know what I'd do if my Grandma ever died. - and she said - when, not if. Once, morbidly, I tried to imagine what life without Rochelle would be like. I didn't imagine this. I am lucky. I have many really close friends, but, for whatever reason, Rochelle was the one I could talk to about anything, tell anything, work things out with. I trusted her completely to understand me, never to judge, to always be able to point out another perspective.

On our road trip, my brothers and I stopped in L.A. to get some Guayaba Y Queso pastries from Toch and then we when over to Berda's to visit a bit. Berda was Rochelle's aunt and is like family to me also. She had invited me to come down the previous weekend because they were going to bury Roch's ashes. So here we were the following weekend, and we went to the spot in the yard where they were buried and the grief became so raw and new again.

Anyway, I guess 2010 is the year I started learning how to live without Rochelle. It's been hard.


At 2:57 PM, Blogger LitProf said...

What a difficult loss. The way you've written about it is beautiful, Patti. Wishing you the best for 2011!


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