SANDI & HEIDI - HOW WE MET

SANDI: Heidi and I met playing softball. The first year we played together was 1992. We were both with other partners at the time and for most of that year I was happy in my relationship so Heidi and I were just teammates. Some of my first memories of her were that she was in intense player, a bit of a hot head, but I could understand that and it didn't bother me as my partner at the time was the same way. That I can be a little intense and hotheaded when it comes to competitive sports wasn’t a factor at all . . . LOL.

By the end of that softball season my relationship was having problems and in the '93 season we had decided to see other people. Still, it wasn’t Heidi as she and her partner at the time as far as I knew were still together. I started dating a Police Officer. She was nice enough but the spark wasn’t there and at some point during that relationship I quit drinking. It may have had something to do with the fact that “The Officer” had a habit of constantly feeding me drinks when we went out and the day I had a hangover so bad I couldn’t go to work I stopped drinking for a year. Looking back I picked a bad year to quit drinking . . . as the saying goes!

During the '94 season is when Heidi and I first started seeing each other. Apparently in the off season she had split up with her X. I had split up with the Officer, although she was still hanging around - also I had the added stress of attempting to reconcile with my X. I remember that Heidi and I had planned on meeting up at the events after the Gay Pride parade. I think I was working a booth for the softball team. I remember being excited to see her but this particular day didn’t work out like we thought as the Officer had shown up earlier. It was rather awkward.

We tried again to go out as friends but my X saw right through Heidi’s intentions and as she and I were sort of unsuccessfully attempting reconciliation she tagged along to the movie. Lordy, what a mess! My memory of this period is a little shaky with good reason . . . I was a tad stressed. I had always liked Heidi but found myself really attracted to her on another afternoon at yet another softball event. It was a men’s tourney and I was again working a booth to raise funds for our team. Heidi came walking up smiling from ear to ear and I thought, “Wow, what a beautiful smile! Her whole face lights up when she smiles!” I was hooked. By the end of the softball season the stress had gotten to me and I can remember grabbing a beer from our coach saying “Give me that” and I chugged it down. Not long after that my X and I had pretty much realized that we would be better off as friends instead of lovers. She was seeing someone else and Heidi and I were seeing more and more of each other.

Heidi lived in Ballard and I would stop by after my classes at the UW and we would talk. Heidi and I had and still have a lot of things in common aside from sports and both of us being the oldest siblings in our respective families, we even like the same TV shows and movies. I was being cautious; I had been through too much stress the 2 years prior to leap into anything. Heidi and my X were alike in a lot of ways and I wasn’t sure that it would work out given that my X and I didn’t. They are also very different and I suppose it’s those differences that have allowed Heidi and I to stay together . . . for almost 13 years now.

Wow, 13 years, we fight, she drives me crazy sometimes but I love her and frankly can’t imagine being with anyone else. I have been trying to think of something unique or worries I had in the beginning but I really can’t think of anything. We knew each other before we decided to date. We were both coming out of relationships and we enjoyed each others company. There were friends that didn’t think we were a good fit, but they couldn’t see Heidi the way I did. They all saw this hard, hot headed softball player that couldn’t control her temper. I saw strength, passion, shyness and compassion. I was right . . . they were wrong and it's been almost 13 years and we are still going strong.



HEIDI: I met Sandi and her then partner on the softball field in the spring of 1992 in Seattle. They played in the same gay softball league on another team the previous year but wanted to play on a better team and the team I played on was it. At the time I also had a partner. The season progressed with lots of ball playing and spending time with all the players. Sandi stood out by her friendliness and her willingness to accept people as they were. Her partner at that time and I did not really get along and so we would have our squabbles but Sandi would step in and just calm everyone down. She also knew that her ex and I were very competitive and it sometimes upset the rest of the team but she did not let that bother her either; she understood that sometimes people have to let off steam and tried to get the others to also see it. I liked this about her because not many team members could or would even take the time. This also was not a good year for Sandi because her partner was struggling with wanting to be with her and another person who she knew in high school.

After the season ended I did not really see her again until the next softball season 1993, even though she would call and see if anyone would like to go out dancing. By then she was seeing someone else as was her ex, even though they still did things together. About this time my relationship was having problems and my partner decided to take a job in another city. I guess that was pretty much the end even though at first we did try to make it work but it really wasn’t meant to be.

In the spring of 1994 our next season started and I was pretty much single. I thought Sandi was still dating someone else but while playing in a tournament in California over Memorial weekend a comment she made about the other person told me she was not. I also got the impression that she may like me but then I figured it could be that she was just being nice as always. I know that I felt an attraction to her. A question my ex-partner had asked me a couple of years before was if I were to date anyone on the team who would it be. I knew this was a loaded question and did not want to answer but with prodding I answered that it would be Sandi. She was shocked but I was not and told her why.

Anyway after we got back from the tournament, one night after a league game I got up the nerve to ask Sandi if she liked movies (little did I know) and would she like to go out with me. I prepared myself for her to say no but she said yes. And so we went out.

There were some complications though throughout the season as her ex decided that she might want to get back with her especially since I was in the picture. This was really hard for Sandi as she really cared about her friend. I finally told Sandi that until she could make a decision one way or the other that we could no longer go out or see each other except when playing ball. This was hard for me because Sandi could have gone back to her ex but I wanted her to be sure and eventually she knew that she and her ex could only be really good friends and that she wanted to spend the time to get to know me.

So after 13 years we are still happily together and I have to say that Sandi is not only my lover and partner but she is my very best friend and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about her and feel blessed to have her in my life.

We are also very good friends with her ex and her ex's partner and do a lot of things together.